I have a dog, he's a good sort of dog, he walks around the house spreading his message of love by alternately hugging and licking everyone he meets. It is because of this love for my dog that I offer for you, dear reader, the "Top 6 Ways NOT to Dress Your Dog". That's right 6 ways to make your dog look insane, stupid or otherwise making him the laughing stock of not just your friends and neighbors but also his fellow K9 community.

6. PJs

Turning my head from the fact that this dog now looks like a wooly llama, I suppose that there might be some practical value in dressing your dog in pj's in the cold winter months. And I suppose any dog dressed in PJs is more likely to scare away burglars, the would be burglar would assume that he has stumbled upon a home of super intelligent & dressed dogs, he would a.) run like hell, assuming the dogs also had super weapons, b.) steal the dog, assuming he would make millions selling him to scientists. Either way, the burglar would leave - job well done by PJ dog.

5. Pimp

This dog oozes cool, you can tell all the bitches dig him. Regardless of the fact that yes, this dog probably gets laid all the time (or at least looked at quizzically by his fellow dogs), leading this dog around won't get you any admiration. Unless you are dressed to suit complete with and accompaniment of your own ho's. So yeah, cool outfit, if not very practical.

4. Cheerleader

This outfit is obviously for mutant dogs with hands, or Saggitari-dogs. Once the freakish 6 limbed dog shock wears off we realize this outfit is even more sinister. A cheerleader, what next? dog bikinis? bondage dogs? I don't know why this dog is dressed as a cheerleader, and frankly, I don't want to know why or what video production he appears in.

3. Bride

Here we go, a wedding dress. A wedding dress in this style is generally worn in religious wedding ceremonies, to dress your dog in such a manner would indicate that a.) you have a religious dog, b.) you have no respect for your fait or the dogs, c.) that you are nuts to think your dog can get married, and d.) you are probably nuts for other reasons. Please, people! leave dogs alone, they are fine just the way they are, ignorant or religion and of fidelity.

2. Bee

Always dreamed of being a beekeeper? got a dog for christmas instead of the hive you always wanted? Then go out and BUY a hive! for god's sake, don't DRESS YOUR DOG LIKE A BEE! This is the way you dress a skitzo dog, not only will he chase cars, but he'll launch himself backwards at people he doesn't like and accumulate a private store of honey in his dog house. Not to mention the real bees that your dog will now attract, as if fighting off fleas wasn't enough you now risk another insect infestation, and what if he get's confused for a wasp?

1. Chili Pepper

Let's all dress our dog like a condiment! This is truly a hot dog! (I wager that there are hot dog outfits available on the net somewhere). Yes, this is for the dog lovers who would rather have a spice then a pet. Leave this dog in the kitchen and expect grandma to put him in with the other spices in the curry. Maybe this is the outfit for owners who WANT to get rid of their dogs, apart from being cooked this dog could be eaten by other, hungry animals or very possibly commit suicide after looking in a mirror.