Today we are in for a special treat (my lazy photochopping aside), we're off to an island paradise with none other then Xzibit (or rather just his disembodied head) and the crew from West Coast Customs.
Xzibit's Head: Hey, welcome to Timor, the rest of me was busy, so this was the only part of me that could make it!! I'm here with the Crew of West Coast Customs for a special episode of pimp my ride. This week we will be pimping out Alfred's Taxi!! Alfred has been a taxi driver for years, and his taxi just isn't pimped out like all the other taxi's in Timor. He doesn't know it yet, but the X to the Z is about to pimp his ride!
[Shot of X's head in an alleyway with some generic rap music, X's head fades in and out, jumps around a bit and eventually floats towards the camera]
Xzibit's Head: Awww man, look at this ride, this taxi has had a tough life, it's just not FARE! har har! I bet Alfred must pay other people to ride in his van!! har har!
[X's head floats towards door, rings doorbell]
Xzibit's Head: Alfred is certainly not expecting us!
[door opens, Alfred the taxi driver comes out]
Alfred: OMG!!! X to the Z!!! woooooo!!! aaaahar!!! omg!! Xzbiti is here to pimp my ride!!! I had NO IDEA you would come!!
[this is followed by Alfred hugging Xzibits head in a show of brotherly love]
Xzibit's Head: Ehhh! X to the Z don't swing that way! Let's check out your ride Alfred...
[Alfred and floating head go towards alfred's van]
Alfred: Yes, this is my taxi, it's pretty normal looking, when bits came off, I put them back on with staples and chewing gum. All my friends are afraid to go in it, and strangers think its a fridge with wheels.
Xzibit's Head: Man, that means you get a chilly reception where ever you go! har har!
[X's head jumps in van and takes it down the road, shot of Alfred waving goodbye, followed by X's head driving the van over sand dunes whilst listening to more generic rap, finally shows up at the back of a warehouse, it looks like West Coast Customs, but it isn't - because were in Timor remember! All the West Coast customs crew is there, they collectively groan, say "oh no!" and slap their foreheads]
Xzibit's Head: That's right! a Taxi!!! but for today, were going to do something special, since we're on holiday, we're going to mix it up a bit with the X to the Z's own private recipe, were going to take:
A
TAXI
+
WEST
COAST CREW
+
5
PILLS EACH!
[The west coast crew collectively yell out screams of happiness, the next shot is in the board room, surrounded by cardboard cutouts showing the taxi and pictures of Alfred]
Dane: Ok boys, take your pills
[everyone takes 5 pills, cut to 20 minutes later]
Dane: Well.. Alfred... We have to make this taxi pimp, because Alfred.. Alfred drives a taxi, yes... AJ, what are you going to do in the wheels department?
AJ: Man, I'm gonna fit big assed Gionelli's... like 30 or 40" or something, and chrome... they'll be so bling, people will mistake his taxi for a UFO...
Mike: I love you guys
Dane: Shut up mike, what about paint?
Paint Dude: I was thinking green, or red. maybe blue.
Dane: Interior?
Ish: Green man!! like plants!! so when ppl run around in his taxi, it's like a jungle in there!
Dane: Accessories?
Mike: Man, the roof is shiny!!
AJ: Accessories? yeah, chrome!! chrome on the windows! around the whole body, and ummm, a big air trumpet in case he wants to take the taxi under water.
Dane: Sounds good, sound good, like a blue submarine. Mike, how about stereo?
Mike: I like milkshakes!! Take me to a museum!
Dane: OK forget the stereo then.. *sighs*
[big montage of the west coast crew ripping the van to bits, jumping on it's roof whilst techno blares in the background. Ish and Mike stand inside the back of the van blowing whistles and moving their arms around like making spaghetti has gone out of fashion, putting bits back on the car follows, lots of hugging and everyone snorting vicks, shot to X's head floating into the warehouse with Alfred]
Xzibit's Head: When Alfred's taxi first came in, the only place it was going to taxi was on a runway and straight off a cliff, this was one taxi that was never meant to fly! har har!
[X's head and alfred go into room, all the West Coast crew are gathered around a shrouded up van, most are either dancing, doing summersaults or smearing butter over their faces]
Xzibit's Head: let's take a look at your ride!
[Should gets removed, revealing a blue monstrosity of a taxi, in worse shape then it was before it came in, albeit with gaudy ricey bits]
Xzibit's Head: Yes!! look at that, you've officially been pimped!
